At AAPEX Lunch-and-Learn, SVP Jesse Martinez Talks About Words and Actions That Can Hurt

Earlier in his career, Central Region Senior Vice President Jesse Martinez was given the opportunity for a promotion. He was excited about what it meant for him and his family. Then he overheard a conversation at a public event before he moved on to his new post.

Martinez had stepped away from a group he was with, and they weren’t immediately aware when he returned.

Central Region Senior Vice President Jesse Martinez

“I stepped away from the group for a very short while, and as I returned, I began listening to the discussion being held in my absence,” Martinez said. “The comment was basically, ‘Jesse’s about to be promoted because he has his master’s and he’s Mexican.’”

Martinez was hurt and angry. Not wanting a confrontation in that setting, he left. He wondered whether he was being too sensitive – and whether there was truth to the comment. He later discussed the incident with one of the members of the group, who apologized.

Martinez told this anecdote May 19 at a lunch and learn, “Microaggressions in the Workplace,” presented by AAFES Asian/Pacific Exchange (AAPEX), one of the Exchange’s Equal Employment Opportunity, Diversity and Inclusion Special Emphasis Programs. The talk addressed how biased attitudes such as insensitive remarks and stereotypes can affect the workplace.

“Each person attending today can relate to having experienced a microaggression on some level,” Martinez told roughly 200 virtual attendees. “But how do we recognize it when it happens?”

A microaggression is a term used for brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities that communicate a hostile, derogatory, or negative prejudicial slight and insult to any group.

They can take many forms: microassaults (intentional words or actions), microinsults (rudeness subtly conveyed) or microinvalidations (words or actions that exclude or nullify a person or a group). They are based in preconceived notions about gender, sexual orientation, race, religion or other characteristics.

“Before I was approached about speaking on the subject, I had never heard of the term ‘microaggression’,” Martinez said. “In most cases I classified them as an insult or simply something wrong that was said.”

But they can demoralize a person, increase depression and anxiety, affect productivity in the workplace and even lead associates to leave their jobs if they feel unwelcomed. But microaggressions are more subtle than hate speech, Martinez said, and often cause harm unintentionally.

“Usually, the person making the comment is unaware of the harm or feelings that a microaggression can cause,” he said. “But we all have the responsibility of being aware of what we say, and more importantly, being aware of differences and respecting them.”

Martinez gave some examples of what not to say: going up to a person with darker skin and asking, “How long have you been an American?”; or assuming someone doesn’t speak English or speaks a foreign language just because they’re different from you. He encouraged attendees to speak more thoughtfully.

“Being aware of your biases can be eye-opening and alarming,” he said. “Words can be harsh, but what’s said is said. You cannot unhear the words. If you’re called out, seek to understand the other person. Most of all, listen without being defensive.”

Martinez cited an article from the Harvard Business Review, “When and How to Respond to Microaggressions,” for examples of how associates can react if they are on the receiving end of one: simply let it go (Martinez’s research revealed that this can be harmful – how can you correct something if you ignore it?); respond immediately; or respond later. But all three can depend on environment and carry risks.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for advice,” Martinez said. “These situations are not easy to confront. Get support and seek advice if you need to.”

Listening is important, especially if you’re the one who’s been called out. Finding common ground, whether it’s liking the same music or having children in the same school, can be vital.

“You’re probably more alike than you’re initially aware,” he said. “Seek to understand the other person and gain insight into their experiences. Finally, be willing to rethink what you once thought was true.”